Twit, Tweet…
By admin | July 28, 2009
Get your head out of the gutter. I’m not THAT scandalous. But seriously, where in the world would political prostitution in the 21st century be without the advent of twitter? My main concern is that people are enjoying twitter on the political front as porn, when its actually many times soft core at best. What I mean is, they are faking it. How do you know the person you are following is really who they say they are? How do you know the “real time” updates you are getting are the truth? There is no verficiation of whether its even really real. I guess though, I would be amiss to think thats always the point. Soft core porn is still enjoyed, even after the 13 year olds grow up and know its not the real thing. So I am sure tweets will be enjoyed and followed, and then linked and regurgitated as fact to other twitterazzis, regardless of whether they are the real thing. Maybe twitter is the new Skinimax?
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Political Pervs Strike Again…have you learned nothing from me?
By admin | July 23, 2009
I tried. Don’t say I didn’t. I started a blog for you people so that you would be more aware of the dirty nasty political prostitutes (and their cohorts) in DC and the rest of the free world. But some of you didn’t listen. That or my five regular readers didn’t pass the message along (Mom and Dad, I’m looking at you). A staffer for Rep. Mack got on her gchat and made “funnies” about the intern in the office and one of her gchat buddies ratted her out to Politico. Its like de-ja-vu. PUT A LOCK ON THE GCHAT, FRIENDS. Trust no one. We are not alone. Here’s the link to the new gchatgate.
Voyeurs are out there. The pervs are watching when you least expect it. Just ask that ESPN chick that has naked pics of her in her hotel room all over the internet. You can get caught with your pants around your ankles in even the most private of moments. So don’t make it easy on them. Yeah, the idea is to get rid of these political pervs and have the safety and freedom to jest with your close friends at will. But that’s not going to happen any time soon, or at least as long as the internet fad continues. So zip it up. Tighten that belt. It may be less fun and it may feel uncomfortable to not let it all hang out there and go commando, but you will thank me in the end.
Love,
Your G-chat Sensei
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Dry Spell…I Haven’t Been in the Mood
By admin | July 20, 2009
Its been a bit of a dry spell for me. Those don’t come often, since I’m almost always in the mood, so I just went with it. But I was turned on by a Politico piece by a friend in DC that I couldn’t resist finally digging into. “The People Who Benefit From Scandals”. Its ok, Abby, you can call them Political Prostitutes…I won’t sue. The article itself isn’t what I was interested in, so much. Anyone that participates in or is interested in politics could have picked out and picked on the people our dear journalist jotted about. What interested me about the article is that, in true big media fashion, they didn’t call themselves out. COME ON GUYS. We all know you are not only prostitutes but pimps as well in this game. YOU created the hustle. YOU took the small time street flow to the big screen. The article title alone brings the big laughs when thinking about the multi-billion dollar industry of media and all the benefits it reaps from political scandal.
Hey Politico…point those fingers where they belong. The cats out of the bag. You are the Studio 54 to politicians hustle.
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Perez, Its All in the Wrist
By admin | July 2, 2009
Look out tomorrow for information on “the rise and fall” of Perez Hilton. Screwing others ain’t the only thing he’s good at…he’s also great at screwing himself.
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I Knew Another Sanford Post Would Come
By admin | July 2, 2009
Opening my big mouth before all the details are in. Standard. So the political slut who screwed Gov. Sanford and his mistress (yes I know he brought it upon himself and did numerous stupid things. I still say he got screwed…its up to you about what he deserved) by forwarding the emails anonymously is now said to be an Argentine man who was ALSO in a love affair with Ms. Chapur, according to The New York Times. This really puts the sex in political sex scandal. Find out your little lady is vertically tango-ing with some hot shot politician and hack into her email and forward her sappy ridiculous love letters to the press anonymously. Thats a classic “I got screwed in the bedroom department so I’m gonna screw her in new and more inventive ways” move.
The best part? In an article in the News and Observer in Raleigh, she is claiming it couldn’t have been a friend who did it because none of her friends would do that.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh My Maria, come sit by me and have a drink or two. We’ve got to talk.
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Politicus Interruptus…The Unsuccessful Screw
By admin | June 29, 2009
So I have been waiting to do my follow up on the Sanford Affair until all the bombs had dropped…at the rate this guy was going, I was expecting something else outrageous to come out. Like Maria is actually Mario, that kind of thing. But the dust is settling and the biggest news we got was that the Columbia, SC paper, “The State” had received a long chain of romance novella emails from an anonymous person that were supposedly between Governor Sanford and a mistress over SIX months ago and had never published nor investigated them. This political slut must have been so FRUSTRATED. “Why didn’t it work? I swear, this never happens. I can always screw. Maybe it was because I had a few to take the edge off…” The State actually held off on publishing these RIDICULOUS emails (I couldn’t read them. I felt embarrassed for every male and female in the world who doesn’t act like a 14 year old boy/girl with their significant other/lover) until the Governor disappeared and was seen getting off of a plane from Buenos Aires in Argentina. At which point, when a Governor has flown the coop mysteriously and without notice for seven days to Argentina, and it happens that the lady in the emails is also from Argentina, who WOULDN’T let that bomb finally drop. Even I am not a complete political prude.
Moral of the story: MAJOR KUDOS to The State for not publishing shady anonymous emails sent to them by some skeevy loser until absolutely relevant and true. This gets added to the definitions…Politicus Interruptus. Failure to Launch. The Unsuccessful Screw. Also, kudos to Governor Sanford for escaping to his lover. The State thanks you for bringing validity to the emails without even having to stalk your Press Secretary.
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Political Screw…LOOSE
By admin | June 24, 2009
Mark Sanford everybody. Give him a hand. I would love to support him right now and tell the media to back off. I’m a Republican at heart (no one is safe from my bloggerific wrath, however) and I went to school in South Carolina. But leaving for four days to rendezvous with your Argentenian lover? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? I wish nothing but Anne Shroeder Mullins and Keith Olbermanns (and even Rachel Maddows…dum dum dummm) on you, sir. What a stupid move. I’m just governor…no one will notice I’m gone…
Good one, Gov’na. He reminds me of Governor LePetomane from Blazing Saddles. In case you haven’t seen this incredible gem of a flick, I leave you with THIS.
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New Media…like condoms/birth control for Political Prostitution?
By admin | June 22, 2009
Ever since the 1920’s, when the condom was first mass-produced, and even more so in the 1950’s when “the pill” hit the market, sexually active people (including our favorite sexually active sector of people; prostitutes) began to feel safer about doing the dirty with people they perhaps didn’t want to have any long term connection with (aka a shared case of the clap or worse yet, a crying little baby). It makes the act feel a little less personal and a little more removed, since the long term consequences are seemingly no longer in the equation.
New Media, I dare say, is the condom/pill to political prostitution. Sitting behind a computer screen you can screw someone anonomously, and often with little exposure or consequence, at the click of a mouse. All you have to do is start a blog, forward a few emails to a journalist, or post to other blogs anonymously. It feels good huh? And with no consequences? Thank goodness for modern technology. We can all go around screwing people without any consequences coming back to bite us in the ass.
But watch out, you political sluts, because as is the nature of the beast, little remains safe for long. You skip a pill, you break a condom, and that care free lifestyle comes crashing down with an itch. Same thing with new media; IP addresses are tracked, journalists slip about their sources, or friends rat other friends out. Either way, one slips past the goalie. And as we are seeing daily, just as the modern day birth control products increased the amount of people acting like bunnies, new media has allowed political prostitutes and sluts to run rampant, screwing people left and right. But unlike the Catholic Church, we’ve got no Pope to ban it.
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A Little Less Political, A Little More Prostitute…
By admin | June 20, 2009
Last July a rumor went around that HBO was picking up the Washingtonienne for a new series. Well the rumor mill is indeed true…and better late than never (or not…time and a good slot will prove) the show is definitely still in the works, according to an insider I ran into from the network. I for one cannot WAIT to DVR it at my parents house (like I can afford that crap) and watch a scripted series which focuses very little on politics and very heavily on all of the beautiful and glamorous people working on the Hill. Oh wait. Well, thank God this isn’t reality tv, at least. They don’t call Washington “Hollywood for Ugly People” for nothing. I just hope Cutler herself appears in it. She should be my poster girl for political prostitutes. Only she’s much heavier on one end of the equation than the other… http://www.nypost.com/seven/03282008/news/regionalnews/madam_link_to_dc_vixen_103854.htm
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Foreplay…it ain’t quite a screw but its building…
By admin | June 18, 2009
Shen”Anne”igans is really on top of her game. Not as an actual journalist, but as that creepy woman at the water cooler that eavesdrops and then runs and tells your coworkers who you hooked up with in accounting last night. I tell ya, when anyone emails anything, she is somehow on the receiving end of it. The narks and prostitutes are apparently on every listserv so I suggest sending paper airplane notes across the hallway to other offices, complete with letters cut out of magazines…or Politico articles…does anyone actually read the real news in that thing? This afternoon she posted an email that stated Ensign’s office has interns that would like to find other offices to work in. She posts that, doing no follow up on the story and no actual “screw”…just a teaser. Just enough to let your mind wander to places the nun said were dirty.
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